I keep doubting myself — is this gaslighting?

A situação

You constantly doubt yourself after conversations with this person. Things you saw or heard get denied. You always end up apologizing, even without quite knowing why.

O que fazer

• Start writing down dates, times, and what was said, right after each situation.
• Look for outside confirmation — a message, an email, a witness.
• Avoid arguing about 'who's right' in the heat of the moment. Revisit it later, calmly.
• Set a neutral exit phrase: 'I need to think about this, let's talk later.'
• Reach out to someone you trust outside the relationship — a friend, family member, or professional.

Checklist

• I have a notebook or app where I log incidents
• I keep relevant messages and evidence
• I have at least one trusted person aware of the situation
• I can identify at least 3 signs of gaslighting in my situation

Perguntas frequentes

Is gaslighting always intentional?

Not always. Sometimes it's a learned, unconscious pattern. That doesn't make it less harmful — but it can help you respond without needing to find a 'villain'.

Could I just be misreading things?

It's healthy to ask. The difference is the pattern: one isolated moment is different from a repeated pattern that makes you systematically doubt yourself.

Should I confront the person?

It depends on safety and context. In many cases, documenting, seeking support, and setting limits is more effective than trying to 'win' a direct confrontation.